By Shelly Livingston
(Way back in 1990 when I was still Shelly Locastro)
Fat Food
Eat the pie, eat the cake,
Don't hold back.
The pounds will
Come off-
Just one piece.
The food spoke.
And I listened,
and the guilt rose like a beginning fire.
Just say no,
Just say no!
Why do they push me? Bully me?
I work so hard
to push back the voices
of the fat food.
I fear the pies,
I fear the cakes,
I fear the chocolate candies too,
Just one piece and I'll expand like a balloon.
My pants no longer fit,
My bras get too tight.
Just one piece,
They whisper to me.
The evil ones.
My husband touches the lumps on my hips,
I hear him sigh.
I am humiliated.
The pie welcomes me,
As well as the cake.
Go back! Go back to where you came from!
I look to the mirror,
The crumb of pie
Hangs on my face.
I cry.
Mother comforts me.
She says she understands,
But I am not sure.
Just 40 more pounds
and then
I will be happy.
My husband will feel my hips smooth,
My pants will fit
and the sweats will be burned in the fire!
Just one bite...
No!
Just say no.
The living room fire burns warm.
I wish I could singe the fat
and watch it fall off.
But it's not that simple.
Mother says she likes my figure.
Husband says he doesn't care.
I know he does.
The pie enters my mouth,
a cherry falls and hits the table.
Brother just looks.
_________________________________________
In light of the most recent comments by Late night hosts about Fat Shaming, I decided to post this. No, it probably isn't a knee slapper for most of you. In fact, if you are like me, who had been on the "Big Dipper Roller Coaster" of weight loss and weight gain for much of my life, it is simply familiar. And kinda true.
Food feels like it calls out to you. And here is the funny part.
I was walking with my husband through the grocery store yesterday and we were each choosing one snack for the evening. He has a much needed day off today, and we planned on staying up late. He chose his pretzels covered in salt and I didn't know what I wanted yet. I always want chips with Ranch dip, but sometimes those have been make me sick after I eat them, so that was not an option. I was perusing for something different and coming up short. A little discouraged, we were making our way to the checkout when there they were. The Mint Milano cookies whispering sweet nothings into my ear as I passed by and I, in one foul swoop, without even turning my face to look at them, and without even stopping, grabbed them and put them into our cart. (It was probably much funnier in person)...
I was so close to leaving and having a night of good choices. Where I would wake up the next morning feeling better about myself because I didn't devour a whole bag of Mint Milanos.
So close.
As it turns out I didn't devour the entire bag, oddly, and three days later, there are still some left in the bag. But that is not my point.
What I simply want to tell you is that you are okay. You are not alone. And if you want to change something about yourself, then seek out the love and support you need to do it. But love yourself along the way, not matter what size you are.
Love yourself. Just be healthy. I'm not condoning a fat lifestyle, nor am I saying that skinny is the only way. But I am saying that loving yourself is the only way.
No matter what.
And that eating pies and cake every-so-often is good for the soul. I'm saying that too....
Shelly Livingston
Wife, Mom, Nana, Artist, Minister, YouTuber, Blogger, Woman Who Eats Pies and Cakes
YouTube (Click on this and watch it all. It's really cool)
Life Creates Art Blog (You're already on it, so now read the other ones, they're funnier than this one)
Life Creates Art Kit.com Store (We personally recommended art supplies, gifts and decorations. Super cool place. Plus, I commented on each item and tell you why I chose each item. Click!)
Facebook (Click and Like the page!)
Instagram (sweet!)
Twitter (Tweet!Tweet!)
I was so close to leaving and having a night of good choices. Where I would wake up the next morning feeling better about myself because I didn't devour a whole bag of Mint Milanos.
So close.
As it turns out I didn't devour the entire bag, oddly, and three days later, there are still some left in the bag. But that is not my point.
What I simply want to tell you is that you are okay. You are not alone. And if you want to change something about yourself, then seek out the love and support you need to do it. But love yourself along the way, not matter what size you are.
Love yourself. Just be healthy. I'm not condoning a fat lifestyle, nor am I saying that skinny is the only way. But I am saying that loving yourself is the only way.
No matter what.
And that eating pies and cake every-so-often is good for the soul. I'm saying that too....
Shelly Livingston
Wife, Mom, Nana, Artist, Minister, YouTuber, Blogger, Woman Who Eats Pies and Cakes
YouTube (Click on this and watch it all. It's really cool)
Life Creates Art Blog (You're already on it, so now read the other ones, they're funnier than this one)
Life Creates Art Kit.com Store (We personally recommended art supplies, gifts and decorations. Super cool place. Plus, I commented on each item and tell you why I chose each item. Click!)
Facebook (Click and Like the page!)
Instagram (sweet!)
Twitter (Tweet!Tweet!)
No comments:
Post a Comment